I am an attachment parent, gentle parent in training. I say in training because I am always a work in progress. Also because I was raised in a pretty much authoritarian household, I had no idea there were other ways. I always thought everyone got yelled at, spanked, talked down to and were compared to other “good” children. I always thought children didn’t have control over anything in their lives because the parents are the ones who controlled everything. I always thought the kids who never got spanked or yelled at were “spoiled” and would turn out to be “brats”. Little did I know that none of this was true…
Before having children I was fortunately introduced to attachment parenting by my husband’s family. It resonated so much with me as I wanted to break the cycle of authoritarian parenting. Attachment parenting is about building a secure attachment between children and parents which in turn builds confidence, independence, trust, empathy, competency, emotional intelligence and self regulation for the children. As for the parents we become more confident, sensitive, empathic, respond to our children’s needs, and we can almost see from our children’s lenses. This helps so much when it comes to understanding how our children feel, what they’re going through, and how best we can help them navigate life.
Attachment parenting is very gentle – no spanking, no yelling, no punishments, no rewarding system. We treat our little ones as human beings. We guide them and teach them. We don’t control them. We treat them with respect and kindness. We shower them with kisses, cuddles, snuggles, all the affection one can give. We use reason and logic. We motivate intrinsically instead of extrinsically. We have boundaries and set limits. Basically, we use the Golden Rule – treat them the way we want to be treated. And ultimately, we love the hell out of them.
You too can break the cycle. It’s never too late to change. Let’s raise gentle children who will go out into the world and spread love, compassion, and empathy. Our world definitely needs more of it.